just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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