Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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