remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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