Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
my poor anus
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
