make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
