margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize