Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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