so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
