Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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