I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
