none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Randomize
