Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Your penis caused this!
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