hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
