The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
