Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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