he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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