I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
