week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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