I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
we're so committed to being not committed
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
