I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
