in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
