That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
