The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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