i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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