so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
