All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Farmville is her only friend.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize