He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize