i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize