Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
