i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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