So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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