awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
