the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Found your dick twin last night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
