wat bout pragnant strippers??
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
