TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
