Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
