i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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