Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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