A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
