Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
