I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize