I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
