He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
