Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
