I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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