in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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