"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
