i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Randomize
