i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
