Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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