How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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