Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
