the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
