I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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