so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
