I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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