There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I will be naked everywhere
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
