Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
