roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
