I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
