Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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