ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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