even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
