So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
