Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
