break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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