did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize