I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
