Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
